<> December 26, 2003 Another x-mas has gone by and we have now arrived to Boxing Day; being today!!!! Are special guest this festive season is Rowena. Rowena comes all the way from New Zealand; while touring many parts of the US and Canada; we are extremely blessed to have her come and visit Winnipeg. Its auntie Glor's best-friend's daughter. Rowena is 3/4 Chinese and 1/4 Filipino; she my height; and she's tiny; similar to myself. Oh, and looks good for her age. This year's x-mas was quite fun actually. Christmas Eve, I went to visit Jerilyn and Keo for a bit; had some delicious chicken wings that Michelle had brought home after work; then went to ma's house to meet Rowena for the first time; then went to midnight mass. The church was empty, surprisingly. After mass everyone came over, uncle Joey, auntie Liza and Karl. Me, karl, and Gerry stayed up till 6am playing x-box. I then ended up going home at about 9am; went home to finish wrapping up the gifts; then went back to Mountain; dropped gifts off at my in-laws; and other people's houses; took Rowena out to the Forks to take some video's and pictures; then came back home. Later that night, I tried calling Ron, but, he wouldn't respond to my call; family expecting and insisting that I call him; therefore, I had told Kevin to call him. The first time, he said wrong number; then, he eventually gave in, and said that he was on his way anyway to ma's house; which seems hard to believe. But, shortly after that, Ron and his buddy, Chris had arrived. I was surprised because I really didn't think he would show up, but, I guess, it was because it was "someone else" who had called. He would never accept any of my invites b/c he chooses not too. The new year is fastly approaching and I really do need to make some heavy duty decisions within my life. For instance, my first goal would be to finish university and obtain my degree in hygiene or dentistry. As for my personal life? Humm....that's a funny story because usually I don't agree on discussing with any one at all for that matter, other than to my shrink. I know it sounds really bad, but, hey, you have to leave something to the imagination and cannot tell the entire world what's goin on with your true life, diba? At this point, I do feel wounded. I don't think I will ever have the capacity to love anyone for that matter. Just horrible thought of being hurt again, time and time, over and over again. Now, I truly can understand the true meaning of being wounded and that all wounds take time to heal and sometimes won't heal at all. At this point, I am wounded and I am not sure as to whether or not it will ever be repaired or if I will ever heal from this wound. But, what I do know is that because of this wound, I have become a stronger person, and that I will continue to grow to become an even stronger and wiser person; where I will be able to conquer my loneliness and finally have oneness within my self. Here's to a brand new year full of joy and happiness and to letting go of the one I truly love and if it truly was meant to be, it will eventually come back to me. Although it will cause a whole lot of heartache and saddness in my life; it will be only for a short period of time. lc <> <!--1:24:00 AM-->
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